Worship is home
Last night as I prepared to lead worship for what is probably one of thousands of nights I gripped the mic with tears in my eyes and such awe. I was emotional because worship always takes me here but also because I remembered that September marks the month that I first began leading worship at my home church Christ Fellowship of South Florida 17 years ago. At no point in 17 years have I ever felt equipped or ready or enough to stand in this place but more like
“thank you God for allowing me to seek you like this”
“thank you God for entrusting me here”
“thank you God for using me in spite of me”.
At 21 I walked through the doors of my church a bit of a mess. I suppose a lot of us come here this way…much like the prodigal finding that home has always been home and finally returns.
If you’ve read my past posts you know that I was in a very abusive relationship for most of my teen and college years and I moved 3ooo miles from home to Florida to start over. I was no where near “together” when I entered the walls of this place and the song that was being led was called “Potters house” the worship… mended me a bit that day and I wasn’t expecting it…there was much work to be done in me but something in me healed that day as they sang the words …
“You’ve been broken – stop by – bring Him the fragments of your broken life”
I was in fragments at the time and in a song…in worship…in surrender …He met me there like he always does as my heart lay wide open inwardly bowed in surrender to all that He is.
In His presence..there is conviction, repentance, restoration, healing …in His presence we find home.
We proclaim His goodness
We let go
We stop wrestling
We stop trying
We rest in Him…and we are healed.
I think of the embrace of the Father with the prodigal son when he finally came home…knelt down, dropped off his heavy bags of life’s worries, failures, layed down his tired head, settled from his lonely wandering into the arms of Home…settled into the arms of love…he was finally home.
As I think back to my own ‘homecoming’ and how the Lord met me through worship that day …I think how these worship leaders didn’t know me, they didn’t know my story, they didn’t know the scales that fell from my eyes that day nor did they know that the Father would embrace me through their melody…but they allowed God to meet me through them…in and through a song.
This is the thing that is so beautiful about worship…it’s not about the person leading the song, it’s not the song, it’s not even about the lyrics being poetic or poppy or my least favorite word of the culture “relevant” . No…it’s all about drawing people back home…in worship, in surrender and adoration of the one true living God…and where there is worship..true worship
And where there is worship there is healing and restoration…always.
If you are a worship leader contemplate this today…when you step on that platform and think you’re leading a song – your not – you’re ushering in healing, you’re opening the door for someone to meet surrender, you are a conduit to people experiencing the Lord singing over them…not you singing over them.
You may be the voice behind the song that speaks hope over the shame of a 21 year old girl who feels like she is a worthless piece of garbage. But it’s the Lord singing through you.
You may be the voice behind the song that breaks the chain of addiction…
Or repairs a broken marriage
Or causes someone to repent
Or uproots someone’s bitterness
Or breathes hope into a worn soul…
…these are the kinds of things that happen in the presence of God when man moves out of the way.
17 years ago I walked into a building of believers feeling like I had no place and no hope. I walked out knowing I had been held by the Savior through Him singing over me in the middle of a worship song.
Today I still stand in awe as I grab the mic, allow Him to sing through me, allow Him to continue to “put me back together” and surrender over and over to all that He is.
Worship is a privilege of our heart – to know and meet Him over and over…Worship draws us to come home.