Have you ever just had to trust what you couldn’t see?
We are getting down to the wire with my album. It has been a two year process of writing, recording, tweaking, editing, producing, mastering, worrying, freaking, letting go, taking back…and then letting go again. Who knew that putting words to notes could be such a beautiful and yet excruciating process.
It’s been beautiful.
I have found Jesus over and over in each word.
I have heard Jesus over and over in each note.
I have healed over and over through each song.
And yet at the same time there have been moments of utter lament.
I have worried.
I have struggled.
I have clung to it…because its my expression…my journey…my stories…my words.
I have let it go…because it’s His expression Through me…it’s His healing in my journey and my story and ultimately it’s His words.
We are nearing the end and there have been some glitches which is to be expected and to be honest I’m freaking out a little bit because I have emptied my life into this project out of obedience. I never felt the confidence that some artists feel when they are passionate about doing an album…I just kind of felt a kinship with Abraham – I knew from the beginning that God just told me to simply “go”.
I didn’t know what I was doing.
I didn’t know what it would look like.
I had nothing to compare it to.
I just went.
“Go where God?”
And that is what the Lord does when He moves through us. He says “Go”.
He doesn’t give us a slideshow of what we will encounter and what to be aware of.
He doesn’t even give a map.
He says “Go to the land I will show you”.
So you Go before you see.
You go before you know.
You go before you fully understand.
You go because He will show you when you need to see what He wants you to see…and not in a different order.
We want to know what is next. We want to know how it will play out. We want to know so we can wrap our tiny finite minds around an infinity endless God.
If we knew we wouldn’t have to trust.
If we understood we wouldn’t need faith.
So He takes us there over and over…by leading us when we are willing to be led.
When my little boy Micah was about 4 years old he and my girls were playing in a sandbox. Happily playing one of the girls decided it would be awesome to lambaste Micah with a heap of sand. Grains of sand were everywhere and unfortunately one of those place were Micahs eyes. Micah began to sob because he couldn’t see and the sand had gotten into his eyes creating a burning sensation. I immediately rushed to Him and grabbed his hand and said follow me.
Micah got up and immediately followed me. He didn’t ask me where I was taking him, he didn’t ask for directions, he didn’t suggest anything, he didn’t whine about where we were going because he trusted me. He knew I would draw him to a place that would bring healing and not harm..and he was right. I drew him to water. I rinsed his sandy eyes until they were clear and he could see again.
This picture is what the Lord does with us over and over. When life gets sandy and fills our eyes with grainy vision He grabs us by the hand and usually just says “Go”
“Go to where I will show you”
You might feel like life is handing you some grains of sand in your eyes. You might feel like you can’t see….but that is okay..because from what I’m learning over and over – we aren’t the ones who need to see because God already sees.
Just go…He’ll lead you there if you let Him.
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