It doesn’t have to be for everyone

I was 9 years old and on my way to my first young writers conference. From my earliest memories I loved to write, journal, write songs, write bad poetry and make up stories. My head was always somewhere else. Dreaming. Overthinking. Creating. Plotting. Hoping. Thoughts swirling. I was your typical unfocused child. I was the kid who always got in trouble for it too…

“Gina has a lot of potential but she remains unfocused”…

I was the one they would likely label today as being ADHD and maybe so but I think I was just an overactive thinker. I couldn’t be boxed in…I needed room ..give me something to create and I’ll focus really quick. To this day I always have about 47 different things going on in my head at once. Flitting from one idea to the next. Makes for great creativity and not so great productivity.

So back to the little writers conference..it was my first introduction to a world of other writers…I ended up there because of a story I had written, it was not a good story and probably not very creative but that wasn’t what mattered.

I wrote because I loved to write.

I wrote because it exhaled something in my overactive mind.

I wrote because it was natural.

I wrote because it was fun.

I wrote because …the process of writing the story, the song, the poetry… was just as much a surprise to me as it was to the reader. I wrote…because in doing so I would discover something I wouldn’t have otherwise. I didn’t write because I was trying to be a good writer…I wrote..because..I couldn’t help it….I just had to write…to unravel…to create. When we create it’s not really about trying to be ‘good’ because ‘good’ is actually subjective. Good is good if its good for you. Good is good if it makes sense to you. Good is good if it connects to you….

Flannery O’Connor writes

“Art never responds to the wish to make it democratic; it is not for everybody; it is only for those who are willing to undergo the effort needed to understand it.”

It’s not suppose to be for everyone. When sharing with a wise friend of mine my desire to finally unleash my songs…finally do something with them other than have them tucked away in MP3’s on my computer…other than hidden in the margins of my journal…other than hovering around in my head…I shared that I knew…it was time to share…and I shared my fears about the vulnerability it will take to do so…I shared the apprehensiveness of unveiling this part of me.. she matter of factly said

“It doesn’t have to be for everyone. Its for some. That’s enough.”

It freed something in me to move forward.

It freed something in me to be reminded that it’s not about who it’s not for…it’s about who it is for.

It’s about who it is for.

Who is it for?

Well…first and foremost…its about my life..my journey, my healing but more importantly it’s about who God is…and who He has shown Himself to be in those things…

It’s my offering..back to Him.

It’s for me as a response to what He has done.

It’s for…whoever it resonates with.

After my pep talk with my good friend, I realized I wanted to get back to that place of being 9 years old and not thinking about who its not for…but who…and what it is for. To just simply create…because its part of who I am and its how God designed me to point toward him..

So I’m back there. I’m 9 again. I’m enjoying the process. The journey. The creating. Letting it all find me…and letting it find who it will find. Some songs…they are just for me …and those I’ve tucked away in my heart but others..well they are for someone other than just me..so when the time is right I will share…right now I am enjoying the process

Maybe you are a writer too, maybe you sing, dance, cook, take photos, paint, blog…you do something that causes you to empty out something…to create something else…to respond to pain, joy, confusion… to life…

whatever that thing is…do it…

don’t wait for someone to tell you it’s okay..

or that its good enough…

or that its the right time..

don’t wait for everyone to like it … because its not for everyone

do it because it’s your offering…

do it because you were created to…

do it because if there is any good in it …it will point back to the ultimate Creator.